Some People Wait a Lifetime for a Moment Like This

It's the type of bonding and quality time that's is needed between guys. A sanctimonious occasion where we sit around a tv watching other men throwing around a pigskin ball, shooting baskets, or just pummeling each other. It's about passing chips, beer, pretzels, party mix, and gas. Putting our foot down with our girlfriends and telling them, "No I can't go to Yorkdale Mall with you today, the guys are getting together to watch the game." Sports gatherings, we don't do it enough. Or rather, MY friends don't do it enough.

Why don't we do this enough? Several reasons.

1) Whipped black and blue by the girlfriends
Shaky - "Hey Norton, we're heading to Mark's place to watch the superbowl and play some poker later today. You wanna come?"
Norton - "Sorry man, I promised Jacqueline I'd braid her hair."

2) Different priorities
Shaky - "Hey Tomas, we're gonna watch the Roy Jones Jr. match tonight at Spooner's place if you're interested."
Tomas - "Sorry man, I have to go to the mall and buy some new socks for work."

3) Distance
Shaky - "Hey Duckworth, we're watching UFC at Garry's in a few hours. You gonna show up?"
Duckworth - "You do realize it's 6am here in Tokyo right? Click."

4) What is sports?
Shaky - "Hey Garrison, we're gonna watch Kurt Schilling pitch game 7 of the MLB finals tonight at Stan's place."
Garrison - "That's cool. Who's Kurt Schilling?"

Things will change though. I'm starting to put together my own band of merry sports men, minus the green tights (unless of course they're football tights). We will celebrate each touchdown, each basket, each goallllll, and each home run. Why? Because we're men, and goddamnit, that's what men should be doing. It's not much to ask from your fellow man really. It's the same thing our girlfriends ask for -- quality time. The only difference is we ask it less frequently and you don't have to pretend to enjoy sports. It's something that's innate in every normal man. Besides, If you don't stand up to your girlfriend now, she will never understand in the future. Better to precondition them early to ease their pain. So I call upon every man who cares. Run to a friend's house to watch sports, run to the nearest sports bar to watch sports, or go see a game live! It's your duty as a man to preserve our way of life.